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November 27, 2009

True Confessions @ 3:16 PM

I wanted to write this post yesterday but for lack of time and also a little reluctance in shedding some more light into who I am, I didn't. I love to read blogs and I have found some very inspiring, amusing and all around great writers to follow through the blogosphere. One of which is Darling Nicky, a relationship blogger and pretty much everything else having to do with the human condition and behaviour. She wrote a post called I'm Rubber, You're Glue which pushed me into writing this. She states:
"One of life's most bizarre phenomenons is that often times, we spend more time worrying about what strangers think of us, rather than of what our own loved ones do."
 Alot of us are guilty of this and as to where I am not like that about most things there is one thing that  always keeps me back and I'm ashamed of...yes, ashamed...and thats the fact that I never even graduated high school. I have not attended any colleges or universities. I don't have any papers to frame and hang up anywhere. Dont get me wrong I can be proud of how far I've gotten without having those credentials to back me up! I have been working since I was 16 and had my time where I really enjoyed school, but once I hit high school I was just so turned off and everyday felt so stale and monotonous. I was bored. I am still like this, I get bored at work ALL the time. I dont feel challenged and I feel like a child could do my work if taught properly. This takes a giant blow to my self-esteem, to my ego and to my any sense of accomplishment I may have.

Another inspiring lady I follow @firstladyd on Twitter brought my attention to a TED video by Gavin Sheppard that was posted on yet another favourite blog 1 LOVE T.O. about creative education. I have been following Gavin's work since the MySpace days and it's so inspiring and just makes me so proud to see how far he has gotten with his vision. That vision is called The Remix Project. In the following video Gavin explains how the concept and the idea of Remix came about:



If you would like to know more about Gavin you can read his bio by clicking on his name. Hearing him speak was the last shove I needed to write this post. Gavin, like myself, doesn't have the education he would have liked to attain. Gavin. like myself, has life experiences to fall back on. Gavin, like myself, has a passion for helping others and it creates excitement in what he does to see the results of his efforts. Gavin, unlike myself, has pursued and conquered in doing this. It's horrible feeling stuck and not being able to find a way out. Alot of times it feels like I'm surrounded by people that just "settle" or perhaps like to call themselves "realists". It's great to hear my family say "You can do it!" when I tell them my ambitions and my plans but when it comes down to it everybody has their own plans and their own strifes to deal with, therefore I have to inturn be a realist and realise that I have to help MYSELF in achieving all I want to and not rely on anyone else to really be there for me. If they are GREAT! That's an added bonus but if they are not then...well...then they are not. That's it.

In order to take off and grab momentum I have decided to go for my GED. It will make me feel better so I am going to do it. If it were up to me I would study for the rest of my life! I love to learn new things and expand and push my knowledge. So that's that! I'm going to start prepping for my GED =D Wish me luck!

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November 16, 2009

12 Days of Christmas @ 11:19 AM

Day #8:



I think I'm the only person I know that does not own an ipod or a Mac anything for that matter! I've wanted an itouch since they came out on the market and I think that if someone doesn't actually get it for me this might be my christmas gift to myself, it's definetly something I will make good use of. I love music and since I never watch TV at home I would like something that I can use to catch up on my House MD episodes that I miss while I'm on the go.

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November 13, 2009

12 Days of Christmas @ 11:05 AM

Day #9:


Every girl needs a pair of classic black pumps in her wardrobe and what better shoes to have in your closet then a pair of Christian Louboutin declic leather black pumps?? I am not used to wearing very high heels anymore, to be honest with you they KILL my flat feet but hard hitting designer fashion does not always mean pleasure without pain. I love these shoes, the smart and sophistcated look will match anything you pair them up with, whether it be a pair of leggings or a pencil skirt and the high stiletto heel will lengthen your legs, which is a big plus for lil' me. These particular shoes are last years model and I have not been able to find them again but I had originally seen them on http://www.net-a-porter.com/

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November 12, 2009

12 Days of Christmas @ 11:04 AM

Day #10:


If somebody could pay for Molly Maid to come into my apartment and clean it all for me I will love them until I take my last breath of life!! My biggest challenge with maintaining a decent apartment, especially while working a 9 to 5, is to be able to clean my WHOLE apartment in one shot. I have to clean a couple of areas one weekend and the rest on the next weekend so that by the time the week is done what I had previously cleaned is already all messed up!! Having two small kids that toss stuff around just for the sake of tossing stuff around does not help the cause. I cant wait to be able to live somewhere where I have my own washer and dryer so I can do laundry at anytime I want and I dont have to worry about having to save my loonies and quarters. Yes, this would definetly be a greatly appreciated gift. I know this isn't the kind of thing you would find on a normal wishlist but when you lead the kind of life I do I would sacrifice a new pair of shoes for this! Blasphemous...I know!

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For a long time now I can honestly say that I've just completely given up on myself, my appearance, my ego. It has been over a year since I've had a haircut, I barely have the time to wash and style my hair. It's always up in the same tired twist or bun. I've gained so much weight all my old clothes stopped fitting me and its just depressing having to buy clothes in the double digits now. Having to get dressed to leave my house is a nightmare I have to relive everyday, its torture for me. My eyebrows look like caterpillars on my face because I don't have the time to do them myself or the money to go get them done. I haven't had a pedicure and manicure since the summer. I hate catching my reflection anywhere, it makes me cringe. I'm so homely looking it's embarrassing. The only person that can change that is me. The only one with the capability to give my self-esteem the boost it so eagerly needs is me! I have to be a little selfish and take care of myself. Make myself presentable to the world and most importantly to me. I want to be able to look in the mirror and not cringe away or feel ashamed of what I've let myself become. I'll start by writing down all the positive changes I want to see in myself and then priorotise them...perhaps it'll be a future post. We'll see.

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November 10, 2009

12 Days of Christmas @ 11:56 AM

Day #11:




I love to read so this is something that I've been itching to get for a long time now. The Reader Touch Edition-PRS600R. I love books and nothing can compare to the feel of actually holding and flipping the pages of one but when you travel around on public transportation a novel isnt the lightest thing to lug around in your purse and it takes up alot of space in there. Another reason I want this is because that way I can keep my books in good condition rather then have my little one get to them and turn them into her personal activity books, as much as I love watching her creativity grow I would prefer she didn't do it in the pages of my favourite books.

I love the touch screen on this one, much better then The Pocket Reader Edition-PRS300R. You can access up to 350 (or more with memory expansion card slots) of your favorite books from anywhere. The intuitive 6" touchscreen display makes navigation a breeze, letting you turn pages with the swipe of a finger. An included stylus offers freehand highlighting and annotation. With support for multiple file formats including ePub and PDF, you can enjoy books from more places, including The eBook Store from Sony and over half a million free public domain titles from Google.

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November 9, 2009

What A Woman Should Have @ 1:14 PM

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a youth she's content to leave behind...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

one friend who always makes her laugh...and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honoed...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder...and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone...even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...a year...

~~*~~

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I've got the children to tend
The clothes to mend
The floor to mop
The food to shop
Then the chicken to fry
The baby to dry
I got company to feed
The garden to weed
I've got shirts to press
The tots to dress
The can to be cut
I gotta clean up this hut
Then see about the sick
And the cotton to pick.

Shine on me, sunshine
Rain on me, rain
Fall softly, dewdrops
And cool my brow again.

Storm, blow me from here
With your fiercest wind
Let me float across the sky
'Til I can rest again.

Fall gently, snowflakes
Cover me with white
Cold icy kisses and
Let me rest tonight.

Sun, rain, curving sky
Mountain, oceans, leaf and stone
Star shine, moon glow
You're all that I can call my own.

Note: this goes out to all my hard working mothers out there. Thank you Ms. Angelou.

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Christmas is fast approaching and my wish list is growing. I miss shopping, I mean stupid shopping though. The kind of shopping where you just go from store to store and just spend, spend, spend. Nowadays I can't buy anything for myself without feeling a pang of guilt and end up putting everything back and walking out empty handed, whether it be at a store or online. Do you ever do that? Do you ever window shop online? You fill up your shopping cart with all the things you like, let that bill rack up and then when its time to checkout...WHOMP WHOMP. You press that big red 'x' at the top right hand corner. I've always found shopping to be therapeutic, helps me get my mind off of anything thats bothering me and it makes me feel good. It's my happy pill. So I will be putting up some of my "If I Had Money" christmas wish list items so I can have somewhere to just come back and stare at them *pause* *hangs head and walks away*

Day #12:



OK so I have some serious thunder thighs and am short but I can definetly picture these stretch-leather leggings by Kiki de Montparnasse with some sky-high hidden platform heels to add length to the legs and definition to the lower body. They go for a cool $850 at http://www.shopbop.com/ and its funny but I've never liked to buy leather clothing but this season I'm just lusting over so many leather items, most def a must have this season.

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November 2, 2009

God Help The Outcasts @ 4:43 PM

Why do we do it? Why must we always want riches and fame, glory and power? We are never satisfied with what we have and the things we have accomplished. We are greedy beings, always wanting more and more...but I ask you why? Say you make $1 million in your lifetime, you know once you reach that you will want to double it. You get promoted at your job, you'll work towards another promotion to climb the ladder. You wear the latest fashion, you'll want next seasons trends and the next and the next. When was the last time you pushed yourself to be an all around better person towards your fellow man? All we want is more, more, more, for me, me, me. I grew up watching Disney movies and as I had this random thought go through my head this was the very first song i related to what I'm trying to put down into words here.

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welcome

i've had dog day afternoons, i've stumbled and fallen on my knees it seems like all my life. its time for change. time to make dreams happen

blogs

must reads.
the legends league.

the broken heel diaries.

her lil' black book.

the segment.


archives

October 2008, November 2008, December 2008, April 2009, May 2009, June 2009, July 2009, August 2009, September 2009, October 2009, November 2009, December 2009, January 2010, February 2010, March 2010,

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