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May 30, 2009

Feeling Like the Biggest Let Down @ 2:45 AM

So I'm laying here feeling like the biggest piece of shit for a mother. I'm always talking about how I feel like my kids are on loan to me and my biggest fear is that they will be taken away from me very suddenly but reflecting on how I treat them sometimes you would think they are more of an annoyance, inconvenience...especially my oldest.

I'm crying writing this right now...I love her so much...been through so much since the moment I found out I was going to have her. I need to apologize to my daughter for the way I act towards her sometimes and the way I speak to her...

I can't keep writing anymore...
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

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May 5, 2009

Beauty @ 11:49 AM

Considering that just about everything i write about is all sadness and gloom and how horrible this world is i figured I would take the time to show you just how beautiful it can be as well. Within all the violence, all the injustice and inequity that happens each and everyday we fail to see past the end of our noses at the most beautiful thing that surrounds us all. NATURE.


Nature has a way of captivating just about anyone. The colours, the light, the sounds...the sense of peace one sunset can bring. The way a bird's song can make you forget, even if it is for just a second, whatever you're going through at that point and time. The world around us is one big canvas and there is no better artist then the hand that made it all. Wether you're a painter, a musician or a poet. A muse that all artists have in common is Mother Nature herself. Close your eyes and you can hear her, visualise her, feel her.


Her moods are just as tangled as yours. One minute she is experiencing pure bliss, the next she can be as glum and sad as you and that can suddenly turn into a vicious lash of wind and fury.


Here are some pictures of my favourite season in my favourite city. I love Toronto.














































An Improvisation On The Canon (Bonus Track) - Robin Spielberg

A Canon piece seemed suitable for the mood I was in walking around High Park seeing the rays of the setting sun seep through coulours of white, green, yellow and leaving its trail of gold on the face of the serene lake like a bride with her veil trailing behind her.


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i've had dog day afternoons, i've stumbled and fallen on my knees it seems like all my life. its time for change. time to make dreams happen

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