February 14, 2010
Love Playlist @ 3:19 AM
January 14, 2010
Understanding Low Libido in Women @ 12:51 AM
Science has long paid a great deal of attention to the dire predicament of men losing their sex drive or their capacity to perform sexually. However, with taboos increasingly becoming irrelevant, greater focus is finally being invested in understanding women's sexual health. What has come to light in the past few decades are two things: First, low libido is more common in women than their male counterparts. And second, the reason for this is because the female libido is far more complicated than the male libido. Unlike in males, waning libidos in females are more difficult to diagnose. This is because of their ambiguous signals and because
female sex drive is influenced by both physical and emotional factors.
The official name assigned to distressingly low libidos is Hypoactive Sexual Desire (HSD), and it invites much debate regarding females. Partially, this is because, unlike men, female sexual responses are not necessarily projected in physical forms. Whereas lack of arousal or sexual dysfunctions in men interfere with sexual performance (such impotence or premature ejaculation), females with low libidos are still capable of doing "it", even if physical signs of arousal, such as erect nipples or increased blood flow to the genitalia, lessen. But a dampened libido is rarely assumed by women to signify permanence. After all, attempting to quantify what constitutes a low sex drive is impossible as even a healthy drive fluctuates by the influence of external and internal factors.
Physiologically speaking, there are many processes that women’s bodies endure that males don't. This explains, at least partially, the differences between their overall sex drives, as well as why women's libidos are more likely to fluctuate more greatly than their more randy counterparts. Hormonal changes are one example. During menopause, estrogen levels drop affecting both the health of vaginal tissue as well as overall interest in sex due to a coinciding drop in testosterone. Also, pregnancy and post-childbirth are accompanied by hormonal changes. Compound that with the exhaustion and situational changes of those times, and sexual libido often suffers.
Similar to men, there are physical causes that can influence the sex drive in women. Illness or medical diseases impact libidos, particularly cancers that contribute to infertility which affects the psyche and physical desires of women.
Anything that affects the physical health of females, such as poor eating habits, lack of sleep, obesity, anorexia, and lack of physical exercise share a correlation with decreased sexual drive. As is the case for low libido in men, medication, alcohol, and drugs all manipulate the proper functions of the body and hamper the sexual appetites.
But the problems do not have to be physical to be real. Many psychologists accuse the psychosexual of having the greatest influence on the libido of women.
Among the psychological influences on low libido include depression, stress, relationship issues, and low self-esteem over body image. Psychosexual theory asserts that the female libido can be profoundly impacted by the past, such as a history of sexual abuse during childhood. Worse yet, the psychological can begin to influence the biological as anxieties towards sex are believed to be a key cause to vaginismus which causes the vagina to become tense by the involuntary contraction of surrounding muscles during intercourse.
The low libido in women is often understated because it is viewed as fluctuating and inconsistent, unlike males. To a degree, that is true. But it is rarely dealt with properly. More often, it is not discussed at all.
Exactly like males though, the key remedy is a balance between the physical and the mental. For women, the emotional health is as essential to sexual health as physical health.
Labels: awareness, libido, relationships, sex, women's health
January 12, 2010
Naughty Makes Nice @ 2:59 PM
I'm going to a sex toy party at the end of the month at a girlfriend's house and have already been questioned if I'm going to get something and why do I need anything if I have the real thing...I am not replacing anyone with a battery operated toy! Why do men feel threatened by vibrators and dildos? Nothing to fear guys, if you're doing your thang and you're open about your desires, needs and wants you're good. You my friend have a healthy sex life. So what if she has a vibrator to keep her company when you're not around to scratch that itch? Don't you guys realise that the more sexual we are, the more YOU benefit from it??? Maybe somedays we don't want the foreplay and the kissing and groping that comes before the main course. Is it bad if we just want to go into straight unadulterated f***ing? Seems to me that guys feel threatened that the Bunny might make them look bad. Don't worry fellas, chances are when shes using her pocket rocket shes actually thinking of you and will be revved to
f**k your brains out rock your world. So should naughty goods be more helpful then harmful to a relationship? I would think so. That naughty, sensuality that a woman might feel may open her up to explore
herself other sexual sides that she didn't even know existed. An excellent example was written by yet another favourite blogger
max-logic where she talks about anal sex being the new thing the cool girls are doing. *jots down anal beads on shopping list and lots and lots of KY* Maybe I should do my research before going to this party.
Labels: relationships, sex, sex toys, video
June 25, 2009
Pros and cons @ 1:24 PM
You know I keep thinking of pros and cons as to wether I want Him to move back in with me or not but the fact that im so indecisive about it and have to keep going back and forth from yest o no makes me really weary. I dont mind being on my own with the kids. Of course i lose it sometimes and can definetly use the help but for the most part I always get a feeling that I won't be getting much help once hes back anyways. It'll go back to being the exact same as it was before...me being home alone dealing with the girls come time for them to eat, bathe and go to sleep. He'll be out trying to make a buck, come home and do whatever hes going to do for a bit then we go to bed. Very dull.
I dont want to have to deal with anybody elses bad moods and tantrums, I have enough trouble dealing with my own. Dont want to have to worry about keeping something off the floor or washing dishes if I dont want to just because I'm worried that the other person is going to criticise me for it or even worry about what he might think. If I clean I clean, if I dont I dont.
Labels: relationships
April 17, 2009
How do u know? @ 11:22 PM
How do u know when its time to let go of someone? Or I guess the first question would be HOW do u let go? Especially when u know that they're like a sweet, thick venom that lures u and quenches ur needs...but is a venom nonetheless.
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry
Labels: relationships
November 2, 2008
My Love Chapter @ 1:13 AM
you know its been said time and time again,
where there is no love there is no gain.
but i now ask where is the gain in love if all it does is hurt you?
to all its games and treacheries you're expected to subdue.
u have to worry of fidelity and sincerity and lust,
while your own heart remains in the quenching, tired dust.
kicked around by passers by, spit on , stepped on, mocked
if your love is not corresponded then u're just really fucked.
u cry and think of things that could be,
find urself in turmoil wanting to scream like a banshee.
so i ask you again what is there to gain in love?
u realise the greatness of it when push comes to shove.
amazed at how a moment of happiness can fade out the rest
how your sanity and stability was put to the test.
self torture and destruction seems to be the lovers path
how many years it takes away from us...you do the math.
the bittersweet taste seems too familiar to turn away
once its there...seems its there to stay.
i find it so sad how one kiss or one touch can impurify the purest of pure
for the pain of betrayal there is no found cure.
the pain you will carry until ur final breath leaves
its not until then my friend u will find ur release.
Labels: poetry, reflection, relationships, sex
October 27, 2008
Predicament @ 5:53 PM
October 23, 2008
Jealousy @ 8:04 PM
Does jealousy fuel distrust or does distrust fuel jealousy?
Labels: rant, relationships
October 19, 2008
Now What? @ 11:08 PM
OK so its been a couple of weeks now since Ray moved out. I've been so sleep deprived I've lost track of how much time has actually passed. I routinely go through my days trying no to think that come night fall he is not going to be walking through that door at any point. Its really weird but at the same time its almost like I was already prepared for this. He was never here anyways. Nothing has really changed. I'm still dealing with the girls on my own, doing everything i used to do on a daily basis. nothing has really gone undisturbed with his absence....thats actually quite disturbing.
Shouldnt a parental figure leave more of a mark? Shouldnt there be something left to be desired? I mean dont get me wrong, i do miss him...the problem is that I think there's more about him that I dont miss. I can almost breathe deeper, easier now that hes gone. When did it get like this? When did it ge to the point that he became like a noose around my neck rather then my comfort blanket that I wanted to keep by me at all times? When I remember the feelings surging through me during the first 2 years or so of our relationship...they seem like a dream. Like it happened to me in a completely different lifetime.
Almost 8 years of our lives we fought for something that in the end was in my opinion just weighing us down. I have enough weight to carry with my two girls. I need to hold them up, support them, be strong for them. I shouldnt have to be worrying about having to please anyone else and knowing that no matter what I did that person was NOT going to be pleased. There was always something, just there, like a pebble in his shoe. I could see it, I could feel it.
I think that knowing (because I truly believe this) that I have nothing to lose but everything to gain from being away from this relationship helps. I keep telling myself this over and over again. I still miss him and in a way I still need him but it's more like a bad habit that I'm trying to break away from. Haven't been able to do it cold turkey but the doses are getting weaker and weaker and I'm getting to be OK with that.
Wisdom, strength and courage are paving that road to recovery.
Labels: rant, relationships, strength
